Stop Wasting Coffee Meetings: How a Little Intentionality Can Transform Your Relationships

We’ve all been there—you set up a coffee with someone you admire, a client you want to stay connected with, or a fellow business owner you respect. You sit down, swap pleasantries, talk about the weather, maybe touch on business for a minute or two, and before you know it, your 45 minutes are up. You walk away thinking, “That was… fine?”

But it didn’t move the needle. It didn’t deepen the relationship. And it certainly didn’t create the kind of connection that drives referrals, opportunities, or meaningful collaboration.

That’s the trap of casual meetings without purpose. They feel nice in the moment but often leave us wondering if anything truly valuable happened.

Intentionality Changes Everything

Here’s what I’ve learned: a little structure doesn’t kill the vibe—it elevates it. Just like we wouldn’t walk into a client meeting without a sense of what we want to accomplish, we shouldn’t assume a personal or professional coffee meeting will magically yield value without a bit of intention.

I’ve started opening some of my one-on-one meetings with a simple line:“What I’d love to talk about today is…”

It’s not rigid. It’s not robotic. It’s just a gentle nudge that sets the tone. Suddenly, we’re not wandering through small talk; we’re stepping into a conversation with purpose. Sometimes that purpose is to explore how we can help each other grow. Other times it’s to talk about leadership challenges, community engagement, or the big-picture stuff that often gets buried under day-to-day busyness.

Social Structure Isn’t Weird—It’s Welcome

We’re all used to agendas in professional settings, yet when we bring structure into social or networking conversations, it can feel… awkward. But here’s the truth: people want depth. They just don’t always know how to get there.

Think about a Jeffersonian dinner. These are curated dinners where everyone is invited to explore a single topic together, like “What does success mean to you now compared to ten years ago?” There are no side conversations. Everyone hears from everyone. It’s not just dinner—it’s a shared experience. And people walk away feeling seen, heard, and connected.

Now, you don’t need to host a Jeffersonian dinner to benefit from this concept. You can borrow the principle: bring a theme, ask a thoughtful question, give permission for depth.

People Are Hungry for Real Conversation

Especially in a time where social media and surface-level interactions dominate our lives, many professionals—especially here in Denver’s thriving small business community—are craving real, grounded conversation. They want to talk about purpose, vision, legacy, and yes, sometimes the fears that keep them up at night. But they often need someone to go first.

So why not be that person?

It’s not “too much.” It’s leadership. It’s care. And it’s a way to show that you value your time together.

Being Intentional is a Gift

If you’re a connector, a community builder, or just someone who wants to have better conversations, I challenge you: bring more intentionality into your next meeting. That might look like:

• Asking a big question at the start

• Choosing one theme to explore instead of covering every possible topic

• Suggesting a “no phones” coffee

• Sharing what’s on your mind and asking, “What’s something meaningful on your radar lately?”

When you do this, you’re not being overly structured—you’re being generous. You’re giving someone the gift of focus, attention, and depth. And trust me: people remember that.

Your Next Step

Next time you schedule a coffee or lunch, try adding a sentence to the invite:"Would love to talk about what’s most exciting (or challenging) for you in your work right now—let’s go a bit deeper than usual."

And if you’re looking to surround yourself with other professionals who crave that same level of connection—who value trust, referrals, and real relationships—then you need to check out Network in Action – Denver Metro.

We’re not your typical networking group. We focus on building real relationships, not just exchanging business cards. Join us, and let’s make your network one of your biggest assets.

👉 Learn more about NIA-Denver Metro here. Or shoot me a message—I’d be happy to invite you to an upcoming meeting.